There's a great deal of interest these days in the effects of positive emotions like compassion, kindness and altruism on our happiness, health and longevity. Some say that one of the healthiest things we can do is to help others.

But many in the health care profession are often besieged by the suffering they encounter. They become stressed and forget to care for themselves. What was once a vital, generative form of giving or service turns into an activity that depletes them, or fills them with unbearable distress. A nurse at Walter Reed hospital in Washington, DC, recently told me, “If you are overwhelmed by the sorrow of it all, you end up leaving here quickly. The nurses who can stay are the ones who can focus on the resiliency of the human spirit.”

“Staying” in a situation like Walter Reed Army hospital, of course, means you are there to try to contribute to the well being of soldiers who have been wounded, families who are frightened, friends who feel helpless. The service of any one person uplifts many.

I have been involved for several years in a program run by the Garrison Institute, bringing the tools of meditation and yoga to domestic violence shelter workers, and then to shelter supervisors and directors. These people are also on the front lines of suffering, dealing daily with their clients' issues of betrayal, heartbreak, fear, anger, humiliation. They inevitably rely on inner resiliency to sustain their work so that they don't fall into burnout or vicarious traumatization. Our premise has been that balance of heart and mind is a key to that resiliency, and that one great avenue to cultivating this balance is meditation.

As I learned through my own years of experience, meditation helps us to relax, defuse stress and experience greater calm. It is also a way to explore the mind-body relationship, connect to our feelings, challenge our habits of fear and self-judgment, and discover a more sustained, genuine happiness. The insight we gain in meditation practice helps us see what in fact we cannot control, which translates into our ability to have healthier boundaries about our work and our efforts to make this a better world.

In a challenging environment, facing our own or others' suffering, we need to draw on inner resources or on something larger than the immediate situation. Meditation helps us see our own difficult mind states – such as anger or fear or a sense of helplessness– with compassion instead of self-judgment. It also provides a refuge during life's storms by helping us connect compassionately with others, no matter the circumstances. Especially in times of uncertainty or pain, meditation broadens our perspective and deepens our courage. The spaciousness of mind and greater ease of heart that naturally arise through balanced awareness and compassion are fundamental components of a resilient spirit.

A few years ago I was set to do a 5 week course on lovingkindness meditation at the National Cathedral in Washington DC. The program director, Grace, and I planned the course and decided to ask everyone attending to undertake a service project:--helping out in a soup kitchen, serving the homeless, volunteering in a hospice – something along those lines. But once the notice about the course went out, people began calling Grace, saying things like “I'd like to volunteer somewhere, but in addition to working I'm taking care of my mother with Alzheimer's, can that count?” “I have young children, and am overwhelmed as it is…can I possibly count that as my service?”

As Grace recounted these phone calls to me, I felt quite embarrassed at having missed how much caregiving so many do every day… no fanfare, no title, often no remuneration.

Ever since then I've tried to be quite consciously inclusive when I consider who is a caregiver. In 2 forthcoming programs I'm doing, I'd like to invite anyone who considers themselves a caregiver to participate, regardless of role or title.

One is a 3 day retreat for caregivers at the Insight Meditation Society in September, where we will practice meditation and yoga and explore the nature of resilience
www.dharma.org

And the other is an evening and daylong in NYC in October, with a friend of mine, Cheri Maples, who is a former police officer in Madison and a student of Thich Nhat Hanh. Cheri and I, along with the group, will explore the dimensions of the heart in service.
www.nyimc.org